if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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