yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
