K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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