My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
