Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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