He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
