i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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