so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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