You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
