Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
