if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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