just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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