I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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