I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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