So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
