guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize