I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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