THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
