new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
