we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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