used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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