I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
