everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
