last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
