You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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