So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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