the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My pussy is not your playground.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
