He is such a slut. More and more my type.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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