It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
