so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
