Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
