I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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