You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
