So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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