sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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