dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
