Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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