i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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