i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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