he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize