She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
