Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
