I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
