Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
