if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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