all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
