Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
