no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
