Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
