Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
