All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
