I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
