your room smells of hookers.
And success
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
