she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Someone came in the potted fern
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
