We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
