dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
