Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i now understand why vodka
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
