He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
