i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
