He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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