brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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