Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
