Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she told me i tasted like america
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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