i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
