I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
