did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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