You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
