it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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