I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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