Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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