is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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