What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
