If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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