I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
